Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Life and It's Curveballs

At this time I feel as though life is constantly throwing me curveballs and I just can't hit them anymore. I feel this way and yet I feel GUILTY for feeling this way, like I have no business complaining about my life because I have it so damn good. You know what, I do have a good life, I really do, but that doesn't mean it's perfect and that I should have any less of a right to complain or cry when I need to. Thank god most of the people in my life are supportive and helpful, there are a few though that like to just remind me how much worse off they are and make me feel like I pretty much have no business complaining and can't count on them for support.

I pray, pray, pray that things will turn around quickly or that no more things will be thrown my way. I don't feel like a very strong person right now, I hate feeling weak. I really hope that Kyle gets some answers today from the pain control doctor, although I don't think that's going to happen. He's in such a tough spot right now with being in pain constantly, not being able to sleep, not being able to work out, just being so limited in daily activities in general. Things look so bleak for his back, thank god it's nothing life threatening BUT it is going to forever change his life and what activities he can do at the young age of 29. For someone so active to go to this, it's just been extremely hard.

He tells me I'm being supportive and doing everything he needs, but I just don't feel like I am. We're in a whole new realm with this situation and it feels like it happened overnight.

I know we'll get through it, we always get through everything. Today for some reason I'm just having a hard time with everything.

One positive note for today, it's my dad's 61st birthday! I love my dad so much, he is an amazing, supporting, loving, caring father and he means the world to me. I hope he has a wonderful birthday and knows how I much I love him.


stephaniezamora said...

love you babe!

nlaug said...

sending big hugs to you:) Hope today is better!