Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's Official....I'm CRAZY

Seriously, what the HELL??? I'm very frustrated right now, my blood tests were normal, which is a GOOD thing. I'm frustrated for having gone through a very crappy past month and worrying over NOTHING.

Why did anyone have to put cancer in my head, why??? I just feel like this issue was blown so far out of proportion it's not even funny. I had family and friends so worried, I share too much I know I do, but I get scared and hate going through anything like this without the HUGE amount of support I have. The nodule could grow and become an issue as far as size, so then I would have to have the thyroid removed. But for now there are no issues whatsoever.

I'm just CRAZY!!! I was told to take a multi vitamin and I will start doing that. Hopefully I will get my damn head on straight and stop feeling so tired somehow.

Aaaahhhhh, I just need a quiet beach. I'm sure Kyle wouldn't want me making a little sand beach in our backyard, take a few days off and drink some delicious cocktails. Plus its maybe 45 degrees, so that wouldn't be too much fun anyway ;)

Thank you to everyone who let me cry on their shoulders, gave me advice, listened to my rants, I would have been lost without you all!

Blood Suckers

I had more blood taken yesterday, the gal that did it was wonderful, I don't even have any bruising today :)

They are checking a lot of things, even checking for mono. I think if they find nothing in my blood that I have to resign to the fact that I am CRAZY!!!! Seriously, if there is nothing, then that has to mean my tiredness is all mental. If I'm working my butt off or staying busy I don't notice how tired I am, its when I sit and take a break that the exhaustion washes over me like a wave. Also, my thyroid is still enlarged of course, not sure on that. I figure I will probably be told the nodules are making it enlarged so I just have to deal with it.

I totally feel like I need to run away for a week, all by myself. I believe I need to sit on a beach and drink lots and lots of cocktails, I just know that would "fix" me ;)

Actually if the wave of good news continues to come in like it has from my family that should just keep lifting me. I can't share anything yet, but soon, soon I will share the huge events that are making life even more enjoyable and precious :)

Monday, March 21, 2011


I've been knitting more and had created my own shop on Etsy called "Bella Knits". I decided to try my hand at making the adorable headbands with flowers attached, turns out they are super easy to make and I LOVE them!!

I will be updating the shop soon with new photos and more items, I can't wait to revamp it :)

The best part is, I already have SIX orders from friends in the area. Finally I think my little hobby is going to turn into something more :)


The biopsy is done, woo hoo!

It wasn't too horrible, the worst part was the shot to numb the thyroid. Also the radiologist that did the biopsy was a little "off". Seriously, not to be mean, but he had a lazy eye and I wasn't sure when he was looking at me or not. Plus Kyle was about ready to step in and ask him if he could do the job because he was so SHAKY before giving me the shot!

The room was full of people, the nurse, ultrasound tech (who happens to be the mother of the adorable little boy Payton from Bella's class), radiologist, lab tech and pathologist. They did well, got enough cells to get dyed and see if the nodule is anything to be concerned with. They only had to do three passes for the bypass and it took about 15 minutes.

The best part was hearing Katie (the ultrasound tech) tell us how much Payton LOVES Bella, he tells Katie at least once a week that he is going to marry Bella :)
We should have the results of the biopsy tomorrow or Wednesday.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Big Day

So I haven't chatted about this on my blog at all but I know my readers already know what is going on so here we go!

Today is biopsy day! I'm terrified, totally and completely terrified. As one of my lovely angels pointed out to me, it's not a huge pain AND I have my tattoo on my neck. BUT a tattoo is so different, it's a tiny needle that just repeatedly stabs me and it doesn't hurt :) To me that is way better than a shot to numb my thyroid and then the stupid long needle to get in there for the biopsy.

I've done well so far but today is a day full of nerves and a cramped stomach thanks to those out of control nerves. I'm praying and praying that they find it is not cancerous and is something that may just have to be monitored and I may have to be on medication for. I so do not want to have to have surgery, that terrifies me as well, I'm just a big scared baby!

Hopefully I will have my results this afternoon, keep your fingers crossed that I do, I do not want to go through the weekend still wondering, nearly a month of wondering has been enough.