You'd think we'd learn, we as in my way too giving family. Giving of time, energy, emotions, love, muscles, heart......
Rather than feeling appreciated for moving our Grandma's things from Newhall (the failure as one delusional Aunt likes to call it) to her new place in Cedar Rapids, it was like we all attacked her and made her life worse.
Now I love my Grandma, I always have and I always will. Even without receiving "I love you's" (imagine being her own children and never hearing that), or thank you's anything of that sort. She is my Grandma, there is some type of bond there although at this point that very fragile bond is shattering quickly.
Imagine us (myself, Laura, Larry, Sarah (Larry's awesome "new" girlfriend), Missy, Ed, Ken, and my parent's) moving all of this stuff like four months ago moving it yet again. A very heavy lift chair, a tv in an ancient oak console because that's the only thing that was good enough for Grandma to have her tv in. We moved this stuff down one flight of stairs and then carried it I don't know how far through the retirement home to Grandma's room.
Grandma was a bit cranky anyway when we got there, but the feeling of total unappreciation was THICK in the air. Especially when she came back into the room and had to make a comment that the pictures on the wall (I stuck them on nails already there to get them out of the way somewhere they wouldn't get broken) would definately not be staying there. Oops, sorry for trying to not break your things. So we took leave and decided to have lunch together.
Aunt Karen was at Grandma's when we got there and she had the fun task of going back to Grandma's to help get the rest of the stuff in order. Poor Karen had to hear how awful it was to have that many people at Grandma's at once. Gee sorry Grandma I can guarantee you that will NEVER happen again.
I guess I just can't possibly understand being I have such a loving mother, who is extremely appreciative of anything we do for her. A mother who tells me she loves me every day. A mother who has showed me the exact type of mother I strive to be. A grandmother who loves to hear her grandchildren play and sing (my Grandma thinks Bella is spoiled because we let her play and sing all of the time).
The whole point of this drawn out post is this: I expected a thank you, well not even that I guess just a feeling of greatfullness for all of us taking time to make sure Grandma's things were all there for her and placed in a way she could easily get around and be comfortable.
That just doesn't happen in my life.
My other Aunt.....well that's an entirely HUGE post all in it's own that will probably never happen. Let's just say that according to her my parent's are selfish, gold diggers who just want to take advantage of my Grandma.
Well Sally, you can stick it. Self deceit is the easiest deceit and someday you will learn that. How dare you insinuate the things you have, enjoy your very lonely life and we'll enjoy ours full of love and family.
Especially the parts with my little girl singing and playing all the time, I LOVE her little muppet voice and could listen to it every hour of every day.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tybalt
Our life isn't all about little Bells....
Our big boy is so special to us, Bella is even calling him by our affectionate name for him now "squishy boy"....
LOVE HIM.....so sad he's getting so grey in his muzzle already...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Beautiful Changes
I painted our "living room" this weekend, it's finally my idea of "perfect" for us. It's soft and beautiful and we just love it!! I have only taken a corner shot of the room because I haven't finished decorating the rest yet, but here are the before and after of the corner....
The C Word
When I first started this blog over two years ago, it was a way I could express my feelings while my "baby" sister (she HATES it when I call her that :)) Missy was diagnosed with breast cancer.
It's been quite a journey and she has done so well with everything being thrown at her. Today she was going in to discuss genetic testing, something she's been thinking about for two years. From the start we were all interested in it, but none of our insurances would cover it and it's like $3,000. So now, 2 years later, Missy has insurance that will cover it, YAY!!
Now my thinking on this has been I definately want Missy to get tested, to know for herself if she has a higher percentage of having more cancer in her lifespan being she got it so young. Also she has insurance that will cover the procedure to have the other breast removed. Then comes the issue of the ovaries, ovarian cancer is so strongly linked to breast cancer, when the mutated gene comes into play you just want to have the plumbing removed!!! Missy is just 25 years old, so young to be thinking of such things, especially when she and Ed may want to have children at some point.
At her appointment today (total fluke I went with her, mom is laid up in the hospital with kidney stones), we found out quite a bit of info. We already knew that if mom has the mutated gene each of her children have a 50/50 chance of carrying the mutated gene. Then if we ourselves have the mutated gene our children have the same 50/50 chance of having the mutated gene.
BELLA......my sweet Bella.....I would just die if I have the damn mutated gene and passed it on to her. This gene gives us up to an 87% chance of having breast cancer in our lifetime, and up to 57% chance of having ovarian cancer in our lifetime. It a double edged sword, especially when I have insurance that won't cover anything unless I actually have cancer.
The good thing, if Missy DOES have the mutated gene and Mindy and I want to be tested then it will be only $300 because they will know what gene they are looking for since our sister already has it. So yes, I could find out, and again just sit and wait for the damn cancer to show up.
I want my "baby" sister to have all of the information she could possibly get to know what she may or may not have to battle in this lifetime.
Cancer - I HATE you C word....
It's been quite a journey and she has done so well with everything being thrown at her. Today she was going in to discuss genetic testing, something she's been thinking about for two years. From the start we were all interested in it, but none of our insurances would cover it and it's like $3,000. So now, 2 years later, Missy has insurance that will cover it, YAY!!
Now my thinking on this has been I definately want Missy to get tested, to know for herself if she has a higher percentage of having more cancer in her lifespan being she got it so young. Also she has insurance that will cover the procedure to have the other breast removed. Then comes the issue of the ovaries, ovarian cancer is so strongly linked to breast cancer, when the mutated gene comes into play you just want to have the plumbing removed!!! Missy is just 25 years old, so young to be thinking of such things, especially when she and Ed may want to have children at some point.
At her appointment today (total fluke I went with her, mom is laid up in the hospital with kidney stones), we found out quite a bit of info. We already knew that if mom has the mutated gene each of her children have a 50/50 chance of carrying the mutated gene. Then if we ourselves have the mutated gene our children have the same 50/50 chance of having the mutated gene.
BELLA......my sweet Bella.....I would just die if I have the damn mutated gene and passed it on to her. This gene gives us up to an 87% chance of having breast cancer in our lifetime, and up to 57% chance of having ovarian cancer in our lifetime. It a double edged sword, especially when I have insurance that won't cover anything unless I actually have cancer.
The good thing, if Missy DOES have the mutated gene and Mindy and I want to be tested then it will be only $300 because they will know what gene they are looking for since our sister already has it. So yes, I could find out, and again just sit and wait for the damn cancer to show up.
I want my "baby" sister to have all of the information she could possibly get to know what she may or may not have to battle in this lifetime.
Cancer - I HATE you C word....
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
My Poor Kyle...
The back issues are neverending, seriously...
He now has a fracture at L5, two spaces below the fusion he had at age 9. That can't be good, possibly having to have another fusion so close to the other. But hey, I'm not a doctor, I just want him fixed and NOW!!!! Thank god he's being so amazing through this, very upbeat and positive, if only his wife could get on board...
If only it worked that way right??? Then I would also like my Bella to be able to poop normally and start using the potty AND gain some weight....
Also, can I get my motivation back to start my Core Synergistics workouts again, it's been a week and half since I've done them...
BUT painting first and hopefully pictures will come along this weekend of my "fancy" room. Vacationing to amazing homes has put a fancy bug in me, hopefully I can pull it off and it doesn't look like someone just vomited light blue, brown, black and whatever other color I throw in it...
He now has a fracture at L5, two spaces below the fusion he had at age 9. That can't be good, possibly having to have another fusion so close to the other. But hey, I'm not a doctor, I just want him fixed and NOW!!!! Thank god he's being so amazing through this, very upbeat and positive, if only his wife could get on board...
If only it worked that way right??? Then I would also like my Bella to be able to poop normally and start using the potty AND gain some weight....
Also, can I get my motivation back to start my Core Synergistics workouts again, it's been a week and half since I've done them...
BUT painting first and hopefully pictures will come along this weekend of my "fancy" room. Vacationing to amazing homes has put a fancy bug in me, hopefully I can pull it off and it doesn't look like someone just vomited light blue, brown, black and whatever other color I throw in it...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Photos I LOVE...
I was fortunate enough to take a mini vaca down south to visit my beautiful Stephie, her husband James and their new little man Owen. He was a perfect model and now that I so enjoy photo editing I'm anxious to do so much more. I wish we lived closer so I could capture more amazing shots as he grows and changes....
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