The month of October was a fun one, I will soon have more photos to post of the fun we've had :)
I wanted to share an experience I had last night, it was very meaningful for me and I do not want to forget it.
I was sick yesterday and slept a LOT. I had so many crazy dreams and I can remember most of them. As you all know I lost my Grandma in June. I have visited her and my Grandpa a couple of times since then. I know they hear me when I speak to them because my life has changed after speaking to them. The last time I stopped to visit them I was a mess. Life was a bit hectic, scary and totally out of my control. I asked them to please help me and my family, in any way they could. I knew they were watching over us but at that intense moment of tears and opening up to them completely I asked them to please help my little family.
One week later Kyle was offered an interview with Complete Nutrition and as we all know our life completely changed. I know my grandparents had a hand in that and I thank them every day for watching over us. Just the other day Bella and I had a discussion about angels. One of her friends at school told Bella that we each have an angel that walks beside us every day. Bella asked me if that was true. I told her that I believe in angels and that they do watch over us every day, I'm not sure if they walk beside us exactly but I do believe in them, she agreed with me.
My final, extremely real dream before waking this morning was so special to me. I was at a house with my Aunt Sally and my mom, it was supposedly my Grandma's house. My Grandma was in a nursing home for years before she died, I have no idea how we came to be at this house that was my Grandma's. They told me that I got to have the house, Grandma wanted me to have it. They showed me around the house and everything of my Grandma's was still there, I could feel her presence in all of her things. They left me on my own and I found books filled with family photos, newspaper clippings from all of our school accomplishments like state track photos, concert choir, milestones from our engagements, weddings, children's births. Photos of my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins, it was amazing. As I put one of the books down and stood up my Grandma walked in, dressed beautifully with a huge smile on her face and she gave me the biggest hug. I felt so much intense joy in that moment and I closed my eyes. When I opened them she was gone and the woman selling the house was there, I asked where my Grandma was and she looked confused. I was standing there holding a note from my Grandma she had written before she passed away. Then I woke up.
I was sobbing uncontrollably and could not stop. I knew that I did in fact see my Grandma that night and I got to hug her, see her big smile and smell her again. I could smell the Olay lotion she always used, her chap stick, still feel her small body wrapped in my arms. It took a few moments to realize I was dreaming and was in fact in my bed waking up for the day.
I told Kyle about the dream and he told me he too believed it was Grandma visiting me to let me know how happy she is and how happy she is for our family and all the good we are experiencing, the dreams that we are reaching for ourselves and our family.
Thank you god for that dream, thank you Grandma for visiting me. I miss you and Grandpa so, so much. There is so much good in our lives at the moment and I know you are watching over us smiling. I love you, I love you, I love you. Until we meet again, I so look forward to seeing you again in my dreams.