Proud to Introduce Cinna

One year ago we said goodbye to our sweet boxer Tybalt.  Saturday was the anniversary of the day we received his ashes and paw print.  I had found a puppy that I thought Kyle would love, submitted an application that was approved and we headed to Patriots for Pets in Clear Lake, IA to meet him.

When we got to the shelter and walked in they asked who we were they to see and we said Red, the gal in charge said she was sorry but he had just been adopted.  She explained to me that on the adoption paperwork it says they do not hold puppies, I told her I knew that and wasn’t blaming her for anything but that it would have been nice for her to let me know he got adopted.  His brother got adopted that morning as well.  Kyle just walked out of the shelter in tears and I took Bella out to the car.  Kyle was just sobbing, I knew how badly he was ready for another dog and I was not giving up.  So I asked him if he wanted me to go back in and walk through to meet all of the dogs and he said yes but if they didn’t have what he was looking for then not to come get him.

I walked through with another gal and she was super sweet, I told her about Tybalt and that this was the same day we had received his ashes and paw print and that we were all overly emotional.  She completely understood and wanted us to find a match.  There were so many dogs there and there was a kennel that had six husky/lab puppy mixes and they were adorable so I kept them in mind because I thought if Kyle saw one he would love it.  As we wandered through there quite a few dogs who caught my eye.  In one kennel there was a lab/border collie mix and she was just beautiful they said another dog was in there with her but he was outside.

So I went to get Kyle and Bella, the gal had one of the husky mix puppies out for Kyle.  He got lots of puppy kisses and thought she was cute but she just wasn’t what he wanted.  As we got to the kennel with the lab/border collie mix the other dog was in there, he was a beautiful boxer mix and Kyle wanted to meet him immediately.  They put us in a hallway away from all of the dogs and brought him out to us, this was how they reacted to each other….

When I met Hurley I knew immediately that he was meant for me and when Cinna came over to me so gentle and loving with a sweet soul you could see in his eyes I just knew we would be taking him home.  The other big test was with Bella and well she fell for him instantly too.  These pictures truly express how we all were feeling at that very moment, tears of joy and relief to have found him.

Cinna was actually in a kill shelter in Oklahoma and Patriots for Pets rescued him, he was on death row.  He was at that shelter because his previous owners kept him chained up outside and apparently he had broken the chains twice and the neighbors complained so they surrendered him.  The gal that contacted Patriots for Pets was desperate for them to take him because she knew he was a good dog.  

It was an extremely emotional day and he was truly meant for us.  We talked last night about if they had called and said the puppy was gone we probably never would have met, if Kyle hadn’t walked through that second time we wouldn’t have seen him.  My heart is so full, Hurley just adores him and it’s so weird but so does our cat Milo.  Milo tolerates Hurley but he is totally different with Cinna he actually wants to CUDDLE with him.  If Cinna is by us on the couch Milo jumps right up to lay with him.  I feel like he must remind Milo of Tybalt.

Our family is complete once again, if we could afford to we would have a huge house with acres upon acres and barns so we could adopt as many animals as we could handle.  I cannot stress enough how very special and meaningful it is to adopt an animal from a shelter.  Their love and joy is unlike any other.  I am not saying our love for Tybalt, who we bought from a breeder as a puppy, was any less.  I will say the pure gratitude from both Hurley and Cinna is overwhelming and they truly are grateful to be part of our family.

My Childhood Home

I grew up in the small town of Newhall, Iowa.  Our house was located on the edge of town with 5 acres, we also had a park right next door.  Everyone used to call it the Koch park since we were always there hanging out with our friends.  We would spend our summers playing outside with our friends, catching fireflies, swinging, walking through the pasture and trying to catch fish in the creek.  When the street lights came on it was time for all of us to head home and rest up for another day of fun.

I loved growing up there with my brothers and sisters, even though we would annoy each other and fight like most families, I loved them and had fun growing up with them.  Our parents were extremely supportive and made sure we always had what we needed.  My dad would take us out and pull us around on the sled behind the tractor in the winter, we would swim in the pool we were lucky enough to have.  I got the most joy from our beautiful horses, my dad teaching me to ride and trusting me to do so much on my own with them was the best time of my life.  Our horses were everything to me, I could get home from school and go straight out to the barn and saddle them up or even just ride bareback.

Christmas was always a very big deal, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at our house.  My aunts, uncles and cousins would come over and we would have the best time.  As we got older it was only our immediate family which of course is still a lot of us.  Some of us kept the tradition of spending the night on Christmas Eve and celebrating Christmas morning together.  Last Christmas was the last time we got to do that, it was so bittersweet.

My parents had talked about selling the house for quite a while and it finally happened this year.  We were all offered the opportunity to buy it but we have all planted our roots in Cedar Rapids or Des Moines, honestly it was heartbreaking to tell them no.  The house sold quickly, as I knew it would.  A young couple bought it and I am certain they will make some amazing memories there like we did.

We had one final family reunion at the park by the house this summer and I made sure we got some photos with all of my siblings and most of the grandchildren.  Sadly not all of the grandchildren could be there but I will cherish these photos forever.  We have all grown up and have our lives to live and now my parents will embark on their greatest journey traveling around the United States in their motorhome for the next 4-5 years.

We will miss them greatly but there will be plenty of room in the camper for any of us to vacation with them and they will visit us when they can.  I am so grateful for the wonderful memories, I will cherish them forever and never forget where I came from.

Living Through Changes

We are living, we are loving and life is changing.

Bella finished up 3rd grade last week, seriously how is she already through 3rd grade???

She is ready for a fun summer, spending time with her friends during the day and going on fun field trips, lots of swimming, summer dance and probably some soccer.

Time is not slowing down like I hoped it would ;)  I know I've said it before but I will say it again, Bella is the most down to earth, sweetest, most giving and caring little girl.  There are days when I ask myself what we did to deserve her.

We love to be silly, play jokes on each other, hide in the dark hallway to jump out and scare one another.  She is our joy, the very brightest spot in our life and I thank God for her every day.

The moment I see her when I pick her up my worries fade, for that one moment, these days a single moment is needed.  I feel selfish sometimes for counting on that from Bella, but hey I'm her mom and she is my everything.  Also I feel the same joy from her when she sees me, ready to pick her up and spend time together.

Kyle is thoroughly enjoying life at Kosama, we have been blessed to become a major part of such a supporting and caring group of people.  Throughout our life there have been ups and downs with Kyle and various jobs, I have worked to be his rock and stay strong for our family.  I love seeing him so happy with his job and knowing how bright his future is there.  He is appreciated, he is respected, his trainers and members truly enjoy having him be such a large part of their lives.

I love him.  I love seeing him thrive.  I love seeing him happy.

When people tell you life can change of course you listen and understand that.  When major changes occur that you never could have imagined would even be possible, well, that is a hard pill to swallow.

My professional world has been rocked and for the first time in our life together I feel uncertain.  My job is something I enjoy, the organization I work for is an organization I truly believe in.  By no fault of my own or my Local that I work for my job is at stake along with everyone else I work with.

When I first started working for Teamsters Local 238 I knew how lucky I was to land such a job.  They pay well, benefits are fully paid and it is a job that doesn't come around very often because people don't leave that type of job, they retire after 30 years or so and are able to enjoy retirement thanks to their pensions.  My dad was a member when I started and I was so proud to be a part of something that he believed in so much.  We have been close always but my job became something that we bonded over even more.

For quite some time Central States Pension Fund, the company who handles our pensions has been losing money.  Various factors have played into the demise of the Fund from deregulating trucking which shut down a lot of big trucking companies nationwide to other employers closing their doors and filing bankruptcy, which left a lot of "orphans" drawing partial pensions.  Central States Pension Fund submitted a plan to the Treasury Department which included cuts to all current and future pensioners.  The cuts would have been awful, but I was for them because I knew the outcome if the cuts didn't happen.  My dad who draws his pension from Central States was also for them even though his pension would have been cut more than we projected.  The Treasury Department rejected the plan in May and that's that.

Next month we should have a more certain timeline on when the Central States Pension Fund becomes insolvent.  Then I will have an idea of how much longer I get to continue working for Teamsters Local 238.  Once the fund becomes insolvent and every employer that pays in is forced to pay their unfunded liabilities, our Local will be forced to file bankruptcy and close its doors.  If anyone is interested in reading about the situation this is a good article that explains why the Government took over the Fund in the 80's and how many poor choices were made with money paid in by hard working people and it was lost. 

At the age of 20 I knew how lucky I was to work for such a great organization, I knew I could provide for my future family not only with a steady income but also health insurance benefits and a retirement.  Now I am at a loss of what I can do.  There is no solution for Central States besides help from the Government.  Over 400,000 people are in the same boat as I am or worse.

I do not deal with change well and over the next five years I need to figure out how to deal with it.  Bella sees me as a strong, independent woman and lately I feel I have grown weak due to uncertainty and complete fear.

We as a family will push through and thankfully a wonderful opportunity is in the works.  Funny how things come about that can be big, scary and exciting opportunities right when the solid foundation you walk on has been shattered.

Our life has been a revolving door of challenges and unexpected changes.  Relationships you thought were unbreakable are gone and yet out of some of that there has been good.  Other relationships have strengthened and we will always take in anyone who needs help as we always have.  Thinking about it I believe Kyle and I have lived in our house over the past 10 years with just us that first year.  I wouldn't change a thing, I am proud to say we have been able to take in my best friend, one of my nephews and my father-in-law over the past nine years.

I have to just keep swimming for my family even on the days when I honestly want to do nothing other than let myself sink into the terrifying darkness of uncertainty.  Thank you Kyle for taking on the role as the rock and to Bella for being my sunshine and to my father-in-law for being a source of relief and to my own parents for trying to help me keep my sanity even though they have their own uncertain future ahead of them.

Positive thoughts are needed and some prayers as well for our little Griffin family.  We will persevere because I will allow nothing less.

Tybalt 06/25/05 - 02/03/16

February 3rd was a normal day, a full day of work, picked up my beautiful girl and we headed home.  The puppy dogs were ready to play, relax and eat dinner, Kyle had to close that night.

After Tybalt ate he threw up a little bit, I of course yelled at him for a minute and he came upstairs.  He continued to try to throw up, circle the same spot to lay down only to get up and do it all over again.  I called my sister Missy because I knew something was really wrong, she advised me to take him to the ER vet because she thought he had bloat.

At this point Kyle had gotten home, I told him I was really worried but that it was probably nothing so he and Bella should stay home.  Missy didn't want me to be by myself so she called our sister Jenn and Jenn came to be with me.  Thank god Missy did that, thank god Jenn knew I shouldn't be alone.  They took Tybalt back to do an x-ray and afterwards they took us into a small room.  His stomach was twisted, surgery would be about $4,000 and they weren't sure how he would do in surgery due to his age.

I completely lost it, screaming sobs that I'm sure were heard through the entire building.  How could this be happening???  He was fine four hours ago and now I knew we would have to say goodbye.

Jenn called Kyle so he Bella, Randy and Hurley could all come be with us.  I can't even describe how difficult it all was.  Bella didn't fully understand until she was there and I explained that the doctor would give Tybalt some medicine and he would simply go to sleep and cross over the Rainbow Bridge.  She lost it, screaming and crying, it was incredibly hard to see her go through the realization of saying goodbye to Tybalt.

We got to spend as much time with him as we needed, he was pretty drugged up but still a happy boy.  Hurley kept licking him and nuzzling him.  I didn't really know how to say goodbye.  He had been by our side for 10.5 years, our best friend, our protector, our sweet big boy.  As the doctor gave him the shot I repeated over and over how much I love him, how much I would miss him and that someday we would be together again.  Then he was gone, he looked like he was just sleeping peacefully.

Leaving him was incredibly difficult.  Our home doesn't seem the same anymore and of course it's not, we are adjusting to a new "normal" and it has been so hard for all of us.  Hurley hasn't eaten in two days, he has been playful sometimes and we were able to take a walk yesterday but he is just so sad.

Tybalt will be remembered forever though the hundreds of pictures we have to the ashes we will wear and the memories we have.  I will never forget him, he was truly one of kind our gentle giant.  Heaven is lucky to have gained such an awesome angel and we've got him watching over us every day, waiting until the day when he will show us the way.

I love you Tybalt, my bubba.

Isabella Jean is 9!

Today our beautiful daughter turns 9 years old.  I truly cannot believe how fast the past nine years have gone by.  I still remember bringing home our tiny little girl and wondering how in the world I ever thought I knew what love was before we had her.

I am immensely proud of the caring, loving young girl she has become.  Every day with her is such a gift, god truly blessed me when I was chosen to be her mother.

Bella is in third grade and loves it.  She has wonderful friends, an awesome teacher and I can proudly say she lights up the lives of all who know her.  Dance is still such a big part of her life, hip hop is still her all time favorite.  She has a part in the Nutcracker this year again as one of the Polichinelle's.  Bella will start volleyball in just two weeks, I am so excited for her!!!

She is one brave little girl who loves to try new things, never gives up, sees the best in everyone and loves with all of her heart.

Raising her is a joy, she is my daughter, my friend, my everything.  I love her with my heart and soul, so, so very thankful she is ours!

Bella Achieves a Dream

Bella is like me in so many ways.  For example she wants to try EVERYTHING activity wise from soccer to volleyball to running to swimming and horseback riding.

I have wanted to take her to riding lessons for a while but have held back.  My parents are selling their house which in all honesty breaks my heart, sorry mom and dad.  I wish I could pick it up and move it to Cedar Rapids.  I hope the right family buys it, a nice home next to a park with acres of land, a barn perfect for horses, a small creek, it is beautiful.

I grew up with horses.  Birdie was the horse I learned to ride on, I adored her so much.  She was so gentle I could saddle her myself and ride her for hours, of course until she started taking me under low branches to try to knock me off, her way of saying she was done ;)  Then my dad did something I always wanted, he took Birdie to breed her.  One day I came home from school and Birdie was in the process of giving birth, I was there when our sweet Beauty was born.  I LOVED that horse, she had so much spirit.  My dad worked hard to break her and she wasn't having it.  I used to sneak out to the pasture and get on her bareback and she never threw me.

Then I grew up and moved away, my dad sold the horses because I was the one who helped take care of them and it was just too much with work for him to do it on his own.

When I moved back home I found my next horse, July, my beautiful buckskin.  She was high spirited and we butted heads but man did I love her, she was fun to ride and such a gorgeous girl.  When I got pregnant with Bella I sold her to my cousin, I knew I wouldn't be able to ride for about a year and honestly I wouldn't be able to afford to keep taking care of her.

Horses are EXPENSIVE, one of the most expensive hobbies you can have, especially if you want to show.  Bella has heard my stories of our horses, she met July and she has always expressed an interest in them.  We won't be buying and boarding a horse, that is far too expensive but I did find a place for her to take riding lessons.

When they brought out the horse she would ride, his name is Bentley, I saw the fear in her eyes.  He was a TALL horse, even for me I would need a stool to get up on him.  As I carried her up the stool and put her on Bentley I was afraid she wouldn't want to go through with the lesson.  She started breathing really fast and I could see tears forming in her eyes, the trainer Holly was amazing and explained to Bella that she would lead Bentley around the arena and I could walk with them so Bella calmed down a little bit.

It took her about 20 minutes to finally feel comfortable, Bentley is a smooth mover, so tall but very slow and gentle.  Holly asked Bella if she wanted to trot, Bella had no idea what that meant but when she realized it meant to go faster than a walk she didn't want to.  But I stepped in and told Holly to go ahead and trot, Bella loved it :)  After a little bit Bella asked if she could walk him on her own, Holly was so happy that Bella asked herself and Holly didn't have to ask her to do it.  Bentley is rein trained so well, Bella barely had to move the reins to get him going where she wanted.  I cannot even describe how proud I was of Bella, watching her take control of Bentley and seeing how happy and proud of herself she was.  By the end she asked Holly to have Bentley trot and the lesson was over.

When we left Bella said, "mommy that was the most amazing thing ever, I did it!"  I told her how incredibly proud I was of her for being so brave and facing her fear.  She is very excited for her next lesson and so am I.  There is no greater joy than watching Bella achieve her dreams and have these moments of pure joy.

Introducing Hurley!

Sunday we ventured out to the Iowa Animal Alliance Mega Adoption event at NewBo.  I had it in my head that we were going to make donations, enjoy the event and meet lots of animals but we would NOT bring one home.

Well that all changed when I saw a very handsome, young looking dog that I couldn't take my eyes off of.  I know when I saw him and bee lined to where he was Kyle knew we were in trouble ;)

He was so friendly, giving Bella and I kisses, not jumping on us, I was immediately smitten.  I decided to read the paper work on him, normally there is some issue but this guy was good with cats, good with other dogs, good with children, low key personality, crate trained, I couldn't believe all of the goodness!  He is a boxer/german shepherd mix and 10 months - 1 year old, his adoption fee was also discounted for the day.

The gal from the shelter came over and we chatted, she let me know another woman had filled out an application for him but that I could fill one out in case it didn't work out.  Kyle gave me the ok to fill it out, the other woman had an hour to make her decision so we decided to go to lunch and have a family discussion before heading back in an hour.

During lunch we discussed the pros and cons of having another dog.  After explaining to Bella what pros and cons were she was ready to go!  Her only con was that Luna might not like having another dog in the house.  Kyle's con was that our house isn't big enough for two dogs.  I disagreed with Kyle on that con, I've always wanted another dog and in my opinion our house would be fine with two dogs.  I did tell Kyle that if he was completely against it, we didn't have to adopt another dog.  Bella got all teary eyed, not understanding Kyle's position.  She then told Kyle that it seemed unfair that she has Luna, Kyle has Tybalt and I don't have an animal but I really want one, especially for a running partner.  She is quite the negotiator ;)  Kyle then sent me a text letting me know that if the dog was still there I could adopt him and he would be an early Mother's Day present.

I was so anxious as we were walking back, I knew if he was gone then it just wasn't meant to be.  I was THRILLED when I saw him still sitting there.  He was so excited to see us and so was the gal from the shelter.  Our application was approved and she was happy he was going home with us because she truly felt we were an awesome fit for him.

I decided to name him Hurley, it just seemed like a perfect fit.  We recently binge watched the show Lost, Hurley was one of my favorite characters.  He always wanted to make everyone happy and help out in any way he could, my boy just seemed like a Hurley to me :)

It has been three days and we could not be happier.  Tybalt is happy to have a playmate, Hurley is very well behaved, super loving and likes to snuggle a LOT.  Luna has been in hiding but she did come out yesterday and Hurley didn't even give her a second look :)

I have started working with him on the leash, he is super strong but a very fast learner.  He and I will be running together in no time.  I am over the moon happy that we found him.  He completes us and I feel like we have always had him.

Our Level 3 Dancer

Bella received her recommendation for dance class levels in the 2015-2016 season on Monday.  She was so, so excited that she was recommended to move to Level 3 in ALL genres.  She was at Level 2 for ballet, Level 1 for tap and Level 1/2 for hip hop.  She was so proud of herself for skipping an entire level for tap.

The joy on her face was priceless, I could see how proud she was of herself and that she was truly surprised.

I loved our drive home as she chatted away about how much she loves dance and just truly enjoys it.  She also let me know that she understands it takes hard work, lots of listening but she has to have fun too otherwise she wouldn't enjoy dance.

I asked her how she knew to work hard and have fun, she told me she learned that from me and Kyle.  She loves watching me work hard and have fun going on stage for my competitions and she knows how much Kyle helps me with training, posing and that he is really proud of me too.

I love how much she truly watches us and takes what we do to heart, putting that same effort into what she loves to do.

She got awesome reviews from her teachers and as I read them to her I swear her smile kept getting bigger and bigger.  I am so proud of our Bella, the effort she puts into working on the small details all while having a blast.  Watching her dance and improve each year brings so much joy, I am thrilled to watch her do something she loves so much.

The recital is just two months away, we can't wait to watch our little dancer perform!

Bella The Hip Hopper

A fun video of Bella's hip hop practice, my favorite part is when they slick back their hair and point at each other :)  The song is N'Sync, Just Got Paid, sorry you can't hear it in the video.



The recital isn't until June so there is plenty of time to finish up the dance and practice!

Loving Life!

I keep saying I will get better about posting on here and that hasn't happened yet, hopefully 2015 will be the year that I get it done! :)

We are all doing very well and happy as can be.  Our life has had some more changes, I know changes happen to everyone but they seem to happen so often to us.  I am hoping that we have had our last major change and things will just maintain from here on out!

Kyle was offered a job as the General Manager for Kosama.  We had already been in contact with the owners after doing a nutrition seminar there for Complete Nutrition and we all clicked right away.  Kyle was very happy at Complete Nutrition and the offer from Kosama came out of the blue.  After a long discussion and getting over the shock the opportunity was too good to pass up.  Kyle is finally running a gym, teaching classes, training clients, his dream job and getting paid what he is truly worth.

He never dreamed he would have this type of opportunity in Cedar Rapids, I'm glad fate proved him wrong :)  We are keeping our gym membership with Northland Fitness and now adding in workouts at Kosama as well.  I will continue to work with Complete Nutrition as a sponsored athlete and am really looking forward to my upcoming competitions!

My father-in-law is doing pretty well, he did tear his rotator cuff back in December :(  He will have surgery at the end of the month.  He is doing well with it though and I am happy we are able to have him with us.  His bond with Bella is so incredible and with Tybalt too.  Bella and Tybalt love their Papa so very much and we are blessed to have him with us.  We will all be pampering him during his recovery!

I was able to go to Florida in January with my friend Kelly to visit David and Brent.  I miss David so very much but their life in Florida is wonderful, it truly is a beautiful place.  We had a blast and it was so great to catch up.  He will be coming back to Iowa in May for my competition, so much coming up!

We just had Bella's school conferences and she is THRIVING.  She is above and beyond on everything, especially math.  Sometimes she really shocks me with how smart she is, she retains everything so well and applies it in daily life.  The best compliment was having her teacher tell us she wishes she could have more Bella's in her class :)

Dance is going very well and Bella is doing well keeping up with all three classes.  She has discussed wanting to add a fourth next year but we decided three is plenty at this time especially if she wants to add in soccer or volleyball.  Yes I said volleyball, how crazy is that?  She is eight which is the age she can begin and it is something she really wants to do, wonder where she gets that from ;)  We just had a doctor appointment and she is 4' 4" and 47 pounds.  Thankfully there is no concern for her weight, she is just so dang petite which of course makes buying pants for her one of the toughest things ever!

I'm proud of her, she knows her size does not matter and she can achieve anything.  She is a strong, intelligent, kind, loving, caring young lady, Kyle and I could truly not be any more proud of her!

Tybalt is doing well, he will be 10 on June 28th, TEN!!!!  I can't believe it, he still runs around like a puppy and wants to play all the time.  He can be trusted in the house and is no longer crated at all.  We love coming home and having him happily greet us wagging his little nub of a tail :)  Princess Luna is also doing very well, four years old and precious as ever.  She sleeps with Bella every night and is truly one of the sweetest cats I've ever been around.  She still tolerates little Evey pulling on her and picking her up, purring the entire time.

That's all for now, we are happy and healthy and thankful for all the good in our life!

The Nutcracker Angels

This is the video I took at dress rehearsal for The Nutcracker, Bella did so good!  Bella is in the second row to the far right of the video and ends up in the back before coming up front and exiting.  The production was BEAUTIFUL, I got see it twice on Saturday and could have watched it over and over.  All of the dancers were amazing, proud of them all, especially our own beautiful little dancer :)

Our Life in October

October was a busy and fun month.  We celebrated Bella, Reggie and mom's birthday days, took a trip to Bloomsbury Farm, carved pumpkins, painted pumpkins, enjoyed the fall weather at mom and dad's exploring and of course enjoyed Halloween.

We had a joint birthday party for Bella and Reggie, they are 10 years apart.  We had a costume party and everyone had a blast.  I still can't believe Reggie is 18 and after his senior year he will be going into the Air Force!  So proud of him, just can't believe it.

Bella has had a lot of Saturday practices for the Nutcracker.  Kyle is doing very well at Complete Nutrition and oh yeah, I became a Complete Nutrition sponsored athlete :)  A month full of fun, love and family.

Sweet Ronan

I had yet to introduce my handsome nephew, Ronan Allen Bechthold.  Missy and Ed had their sweet boy on September 3rd.

It killed me to have to wait a couple of days before we were able to go meet him.  He was much smaller than the doctors thought he would be and right when I got a hold of him he had my heart :)

He has been a wonderful baby, right away he would give them five hour stretches of sleep at a time.  I made sure Missy and Ed knew exactly how lucky they were for that ;)  Just teasing, well a little, after not sleeping for over a year with Bella I am envious of those who get the experience of good sleep with their newborn.

Ronan looks just like Lyla did, he eats well, sleeps well and is so happy.  At just over two months he is smiling and cooing.  I can't get enough of him, I so wish they didn't live in Des Moines!  Lyla is a wonderful big sister and loves her baby brother so much.  Can't wait to see them next week for Thanksgiving!

What Dreams May Come

The month of October was a fun one, I will soon have more photos to post of the fun we've had :)

I wanted to share an experience I had last night, it was very meaningful for me and I do not want to forget it.

I was sick yesterday and slept a LOT.  I had so many crazy dreams and I can remember most of them.  As you all know I lost my Grandma in June.  I have visited her and my Grandpa a couple of times since then.  I know they hear me when I speak to them because my life has changed after speaking to them.  The last time I stopped to visit them I was a mess.  Life was a bit hectic, scary and totally out of my control.  I asked them to please help me and my family, in any way they could.  I knew they were watching over us but at that intense moment of tears and opening up to them completely I asked them to please help my little family.

One week later Kyle was offered an interview with Complete Nutrition and as we all know our life completely changed.  I know my grandparents had a hand in that and I thank them every day for watching over us.  Just the other day Bella and I had a discussion about angels.  One of her friends at school told Bella that we each have an angel that walks beside us every day.  Bella asked me if that was true.  I told her that I believe in angels and that they do watch over us every day, I'm not sure if they walk beside us exactly but I do believe in them, she agreed with me.

My final, extremely real dream before waking this morning was so special to me.  I was at a house with my Aunt Sally and my mom, it was supposedly my Grandma's house.  My Grandma was in a nursing home for years before she died, I have no idea how we came to be at this house that was my Grandma's.  They told me that I got to have the house, Grandma wanted me to have it.  They showed me around the house and everything of my Grandma's was still there, I could feel her presence in all of her things.  They left me on my own and I found books filled with family photos, newspaper clippings from all of our school accomplishments like state track photos, concert choir, milestones from our engagements, weddings, children's births.  Photos of my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins, it was amazing.  As I put one of the books down and stood up my Grandma walked in, dressed beautifully with a huge smile on her face and she gave me the biggest hug.  I felt so much intense joy in that moment and I closed my eyes.  When I opened them she was gone and the woman selling the house was there, I asked where my Grandma was and she looked confused.  I was standing there holding a note from my Grandma she had written before she passed away.  Then I woke up.

I was sobbing uncontrollably and could not stop.  I knew that I did in fact see my Grandma that night and I got to hug her, see her big smile and smell her again.  I could smell the Olay lotion she always used, her chap stick, still feel her small body wrapped in my arms.  It took a few moments to realize I was dreaming and was in fact in my bed waking up for the day.

I told Kyle about the dream and he told me he too believed it was Grandma visiting me to let me know how happy she is and how happy she is for our family and all the good we are experiencing, the dreams that we are reaching for ourselves and our family.

Thank you god for that dream, thank you Grandma for visiting me.  I miss you and Grandpa so, so much.  There is so much good in our lives at the moment and I know you are watching over us smiling.  I love you, I love you, I love you.  Until we meet again, I so look forward to seeing you again in my dreams.

Bella is 8!

Eight years ago our lives completely changed, we welcomed into the world our beautiful Isabella Jean.  I will never forget that day.  I was so anxious to meet her, to see who she looked like, wondering if she would have hair or be bald like her mother until age 2.

In one moment my life changed forever.  When I first held her and locked eyes with her she became my everything.  I became a mommy and my world changed in an instant.

At the age of 8 Bella is in 2nd grade, takes ballet, tap and hip hop dance classes, is in running club and is anxious to start volleyball.  She is extremely kind, sweet, funny, stubborn and loving, she makes us so proud every single day.  One of her favorite things to do is to just hang out at home with us watching movies or playing games, lately she loves playing "school" where she is the teacher and Kyle and I are her students.

Watching her grow into this wonderful young lady brings so much pride and joy to my heart.  There are days when I wonder how in the world did we make this awesome little person?  She is truly one of my best friends, the best part of my day is when I get to be with her.  Every day after work I am so excited to pick her up from school and hear about her day.  She is just as anxious to ask about my day and Kyle's.

I hope that throughout her life Bella stays just as she is.  Full of confidence, ready to take on the world and help others along the way.  I could not possibly be more proud of who she is, she is truly one very special little girl!

I love you Bella Jean and I am so proud to be your mommy!  You make life so joyful, I love you the mostest!

Changes - Missing David

I hope that everyone is able to have very special friendships in their lives.  They make us who we are and sometimes those people become much more than friends, they are truly a part of your soul, who you are.

I am fortunate to have multiple friendships that affect me in such a way, friends that truly are a part of me and being separated from them is very, very hard.  I do not adjust well to changes, I never have.

One of our dearest friends left on Sunday for a new adventure.  David has been in our lives for a long time.  Kyle and I met him when Kyle was in college, first I met David's beautiful boxer Lakota and fell madly in love with her.  When I met David we just clicked and our friendship grew into something so incredibly special.

Over the years we became inseparable.  We could not go a week without seeing each other, he lived with us, he became a part of our family, a part of my family.  We have been through so many ups and downs together, health scares, family issues, relationship troubles, moves and so much more.  David and I have grown together and have become very strong, independent individuals who happen to rely on each other heavily :)

Kyle and David are the two people who very literally pushed me and helped me achieve one of my biggest goals, they have shared in my struggles and my triumphs.  David was a constant at the gym with me, he would be the one person that could understand me without me having to speak a single word.  He has supported our family through some tough times, Bella adores him and even though he may not know it he has taught her so much.  The Griffin family would not be who we are without David!

He and his boyfriend Brent decided to move to Florida.  Tired of the cold winters, wanting a change in life, making a new beginning for themselves.  I could not be happier for them, honestly!

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've done.  I have to admit that I didn't know how much this would affect me.  To realize that I won't be able to just stop by their house at any moment, call David last minute to meet up for a drink, have him pick me up for a trip to the gym.  Yes I can call him at any moment but that just isn't the same.

These first few weeks are going to be tough.  I am so thankful to have a wonderful husband who fully understands and a beautiful daughter who is very protective of her mommy and is going above and beyond to make me laugh and smile.

I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the family that surrounds me and the friends in my life.  To have such special relationships with people, it blows my mind the connection you can have with another person.

When we did say goodbye on Sunday it was kind of fitting to see two big caterpillars and watch Bella take them from the driveway over to a tree so they would be safe.  Kyle and Bella got to meet David's grandparents and see the family farm.  It was a beautiful day, a bittersweet day.

Good luck to David and Brent, Florida is so damn lucky to have the two of you.  Thank you David for being you, for being such a big part of our family and you know you always will be, for making me such a big part of your family.  We will miss sweet little Woneya, Tybalt will be missing his girlfriend!  I will miss you more than I can ever express, even though we will see each other often.  Gotta line up many more competitions for my stylist to be at ;)

Cherish the very special relationships you have in your life, I know we always will.

Bella's Little Angel Practice

Our beautiful little lady practicing for her role in The Nutcracker as a little angel.  I know I am biased, but she is just the cutest little lady!



I really can't wait to watch her perform on stage.  So blessed that we are able to have her participate in something so magical and something we all love so much!

Did Bella Make it for The Nutcracker?

Yes she did and she is clearly very excited about it!  We are so proud of her and can't wait to watch her dance in The Nutcracker again this year :)

Meant To Be

Life can be so full of ups and downs, some of the downs are much worse than others.  Each year Kyle and I start it off saying, "this is going to be OUR year!"  Then life happens and there are hiccups all over the place, things completely out of our control.  There are moments when each of us has wondered if we are really on the "right" path and rare moments where we just KNOW that we are on the "right" path.

There are times when you wonder how you can keep pushing forward without hitting another set back.  We know our set backs have not even come close to what others have had to deal with.  We also know that for us we've been pushed to our limits multiple times and have pulled through, together.

We have watched relationships crumble, one of the most important relationships in a persons life.  Losing someone you love and adore is so extremely difficult, I'm not talking about someone passing away.  One of the most secure relationships you have in your life as a human being, lost to something you don't and can't understand.  That is one of the toughest things to go through and even after years of trying to come to terms with your loss it still hurts like it did that first day.

Funny how such an awful situation can make you see other things more clearly and help other relationships grow in a way you never knew they could.  

We are BLESSED.

The past two months have brought us to a place we have been fighting to get to.  Kyle starts his new job on Monday with Complete Nutrition, the training will be done this week.  He is beyond excited and ready for this new chapter, I am so proud of him and the hard work he has put in with his training.  Not only learning in the training process but also helping to teach others.  Kyle will spend his working days talking about health and fitness, his passion.  To hear the joy in his voice when we talk, to see that big smile and know he is genuinely happy again in his professional life makes my heart soar.  Knowing his plan to do the best he can while helping others lead a healthier lifestyle, well, this is what he is meant to do and he deserves it.

The opportunity being presented to me is another blessing, one I truly did not see coming.  I've always been a hard worker but the added drive I now have, that I guess I couldn't see before, it amazes me.  I want nothing more than to be the best ME I can be, striving to be better each and every day.  Do I have something to prove?  Yes and no.  I have to prove that I am worthy, that I am an athlete who is deserving of a sponsorship and a woman who will work her ass  off every day.  A year and a half ago I would have never dreamed to be in the position I am in right now, I am so thankful and clearly it is meant to be.

My father-in-law got offered a full-time position at his job last week and I am over the moon happy for him!  He is happy for this opportunity and it means so many good things for him.  He has been through so much, too much and to have him with us, enjoying this life together, hearing Bella be silly with him, their laughter floating through the house with Tybalt trying to join in.  Those are sounds of pure joy and love, I wouldn't trade it for anything, even though it took a very dark road to get to this place.  He is meant to be here with us.

Bella has begun her 4th year of dance, how insane, she has been dancing for four years!  The studio I chose to move her to is so incredible from their teachers to the studio to the owners, we love, love, love Dancer's Edge!  Bella has grown so much as a dancer and her love for dance grows each year.  She is thriving in school, ahead of where she needs to be and she truly loves learning.  She will begin running club next week and her excitement is through the roof that she will finally be eight next month, which means she is old enough for volleyball camp.  I know those beautiful blue eyes watch me each day as I work to be a better me, not just for myself but also for my family.  Bella watches me and cheers me on at my races, my competitions, volleyball, posing practice, she is one of my biggest supporters.  Watching her grow up and choosing to participate in activities I love and participate in myself makes my heart swell, Bella and I were meant to be.

We are surrounded by family and friends who love us, support us and encourage us.  So many who have been there through the difficulties, always reminding us that what is meant to be will be.  There were times I wanted to scream at anyone saying that to me, how could they know that?  How could some of the things that have happened be part of life's plan?

I still don't understand so many things and have realized I need to stop trying to understand.  Our little family has found our way and we will continue to work hard, play hard and love hard.  We only get one life and I am so beyond blessed to get to spend this life with a man who has the same drive and desires as me.  To be able to raise our beautiful daughter together and give her the best life possible is such an incredible blessing.

No more, "this is going to be our year", but rather this is OUR life and it is amazing.  No matter what we go through I know that we will always live a life full of love, compassion, respect and joy because we are meant to be.

First Day of 2nd Grade

Bella has her first day of 2nd grade today, she is growing up way too fast!  Last night we went to open house, she met her teacher, found her desk and locker and figured out where she will be for before and after school.  We are so, so fortunate that she made it in for the before and after school program at Nixon, there was a long wait list!

There were no nerves, even with a very early start to the day and just being the two of us.  Kyle is in South Dakota training for his management position with Complete Nutrition.  She was ready to get up when I woke her, had some breakfast and I made sure we had plenty of time for both of us to be ready for the day.

It really blows my mind that Bella is in 2nd grade, I can't believe how fast she is growing up and sometimes I wish I could slow the clock down.  She is truly such a genuinely sweet girl full of kindness and love.  We are so very lucky to be her mommy and daddy and we are so very proud of her!